[26 Dec 2009|01:41am] screwjack1971 Good morning, Worm, Your Honor. The Crown will plainly show the prisoner who now stands before you was caught red-handed showing feelings: showing feelings of an (almost) human nature. walked a mile in my shoes.

[25 Dec 2009|09:04am] screwjack1971 merry christmas to the few of you badasses that are still around here. 4 walked a mile in my shoes.

[25 Dec 2009|02:37am] screwjack1971 it's christmas eve. I've got rum. who's comin with me? 10 walked a mile in my shoes.

copyrighted [24 Dec 2009|12:49pm] screwjack1971 "I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, just like the ones I used to know, where those treetops glisten and children listen to hear sleigh bells in the snow, the snow." Christmas Poem Surely, Christmas can't be Christmas until my step-brother comes home high, with Santa on his coke’d out little noggin and little white powder burns hung with care under his sugar plum nostrils and my step-dad feeds him top shelf whiskey from a stash in the fireplace. He turns the bottle up, taking two doubleshot gulps and likes at his lips like an old mule in a Bethlehem manger. There’s nothing silent tonight nothing holy tonight. Father and son play guitar— the wrong chords, the wrong tune, and the lyrics bleed together from Hank Williams to Van Morrison. Mom, in her deluded house coat and pitiful slippers, walks the hall with an insulated mug of chardonnay, stares the terr down this ornament would look better here. no, no, no, not one strand of lights in this part of the tree, and she nitpicks herself into a frenzy over the burned sausage balls.. Before long, everyone’s yelling at everyone. The whiskey and chardonnay end up on the tree skirt, and Bing Crosby’s on the television singing: "I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. With every Christmas card I write, “May your days be merry and bright, and may all your Christmases be white.'" 2 walked a mile in my shoes.

[23 Dec 2009|05:15am] screwjack1971 Is it too much of a dick thing to do to be juggling thee girls. There's no commitment, but there's potential in all of them. Everyone has pros and cons, pitfalls and saving graces. I don't think I know what to do with any attention. I don't know if I'm ready for any kind of relationship. I enjoy me freedom... Girls aren't the only ones who just want to have fun. Damn it. I'm almost hoping I can juggle everything until March. March. March. March. It's not too long, right? It's not even juggling. It's going to be a matter of picking and then keeping at bay, I think. At this point, I fucking deserve March. Don't I? Funny how we always want things we can't have. 4 walked a mile in my shoes.

There's no sex in your violence. [12 Dec 2009|01:54pm] screwjack1971 I never update anymore because I feel like, if I do, I'd only be complaining. This has been a rough semester. I got my first B of my grad school career because I wrote a shitty paper. The professor offered me the chance to rewrite it or do the assignment again, but I think I'm just done with it all. A B isn't a bad thing, right? I mean, it IS a B+. That's awful close to an A-. My give-a-fuck seems to be out of order, lately. My house is a wreck. My car is a wreck. My yard needs to be raked and, probably, mowed. I've got one more assignment to complete before I finish out MY semester, but there's about 130 papers and assignments to grade before Friday. I plan on tackling that shit on Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday, posting grades friday, and getting ridiculously fucked up on December 19. There's a bar not too far from my house. It's a metal bar, meaning that the kind of music they like is, of course, metal; the live bands are abnormally crappy, but I like the feel of this place. It's like a clubhouse for a motorcycle gang. But they have PBR on tap and (i think) they do a beer bust quite a few times a week. Right, December 19, they're having a festivity to support the VA hospital here in Memphis and the DVA> I support both causes. I like beer. I'm willing to put up with the music, and (some of) the people and there's a girl there I enjoy drinking with (So far, We've only drank together once, but she seems pretty cool.) I don't know if anything's going on in my life that's worth writing about. I'm still pinning my hopes on dreams and lotto tickets. I'm not drinking like I was last semester. I stayed drunk last semester. I did, though, almost have a meltdown when I thought I wouldn't be able to get my weedsmoke the other day and my bag was out. I think that, mentally, I'm addicted to it. It keeps me going when nothing else does. I watch a lot of Intervention, and I see all these people who are self-medicating their depression or bipolar disorder with whatever drug. It's never weed, of course, because they don't do interventions for people smoking grass. My point is that I think I may be self-medicating some mild emotional disorder by smoking weed everyday. I don't stay high all the time, and there may be two or three days here and there when I don't hit the bowl. I go through about an eighth and a half a month. I do, however, take comfort in the mere fact that I'm in possession of the herbal. When i ran out the other day, and my D-girl told me she couldn't help me re-up, I thought I was having a panic attack. Maybe I was. I tried not go get pushy about it. I told her to hit me up if something changed. Luckily, for me, it did. I took note of those feelings though. I think that I'll put the pipe down for a few weeks after the New Year. I have no intention of quitting. I don't think quitting ever solves anything. But, maybe I need to see how dependent I am on it. I do that with everything. It's not a matter of quitting anything. It's a process of evaluation. I need to see if it is something I can live without, like drinking, or if it's something that keeps me from stabbing people in the face, like cigarettes and caffeine. I can't live without my coffee and cigarettes. Let's see. Anything else to bore you with? There's something I was going to write about living in the real world and American mentality to believe in non-reality, but I don't want to take any stance or moral highground right now. It's too humble a day. Thanks for your time. 6 walked a mile in my shoes.

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ]